


University Exploits

by GaeilgeRua



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Challenge Response, F/M, Healer Draco Malfoy, Post-Hogwarts, embarrassing stories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-16 03:20:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7249945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaeilgeRua/pseuds/GaeilgeRua
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One comment from her husband had Hermione reminding him of his rather interesting time in university.</p><p>My response to a challenge on the Dramione Fanfiction Forum on Facebook.</p><p>Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one from the Harry Potter world, which is quite unfortunate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	University Exploits

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts:
> 
> 1\. "I was taking a bath, and in walks Theo!"  
> 2\. Strap-On  
> 3\. Draco walks in wearing boxers with a wolf on them. He begins to quote, "I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself. I take the words, I scatter them in time and space--" "No, Draco, you just look ridiculous in those." (The scenario for this can be altered, but the dialogue must remain the same.)  
> 4\. Peep Show  
> 5\. "Damn Nargles."
> 
> Author's Note: I changed the tense in a couple of the prompts to match my writing style for this tale.

"I've always wondered what you would look like wearing a strap-on."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Is there something you need to tell me?" She paused. "And why are you thinking about this?"

"No reason, just something I was wondering."

Hermione thought about it for a moment, a smirk pulled at the corner of her lips. "This wouldn't have anything to do with your university years, would it?"

Her husband looked at her innocently. Or as innocently as a former Slytherin can look. "My lovely Hermione, I have no idea what you're talking about."

Her smirk widened. "Oh, well, let me remind you then, because if you remember, it was about a month into our relationship when I heard first hand from Theo what happened. It was a night that I wanted to surprise you when you arrived home from work and I was taking a bath, and in walks Theo!"

"I could've killed him for that. He was supposed to be at a stakeout, not in our flat."

"Oh, don't be jealous. They had just captured who they were after and he returned home to clean up and change before meeting the rest of his team back at the ministry. Also, he had no idea I would be there and as soon as he realised what he did, he stepped back out and waited for me to finish. As he was cleaning up and changing, he decided to let me know what I was getting in to with you." Hermione laughed. "As if I didn't know you from Hogwarts, but his tales from when you were in university were quite enlightening."

He groaned. "I'm pissed at him about that too. I was stupid and young."

She snickered. "Stupid and young? Yeah, that is a brilliant way to describe you. More so before we started dating than now."

"Thank you for your vote of confidence." He sighed. "I can see you are dying to remind me of my rebellious ways, what have you got?"

"Oh nothing too scandalous. What was it, your last year of healer training if I remember his story correctly, that you wore those lovely boxers."

"Damn Nargles."

"Now, now, my dragon. Don't go blaming Luna and her nargles, you're the one that waltzed out there. To be honest, there is no way I can paraphrase what Theo told me without completely ruining the picture." She cleared her throat before trying to imitate her husband's best friend and succeeding pretty well. "I'm sitting in the living room with Luna when Draco walks in wearing boxers with a wolf on them. He then begins to quote, "I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself. I take the words, I scatter them in time and space—"" Hermione broke off in a fit of giggles. "Where did you learn about The Doctor?"

A dark blush stole across Draco's cheeks. "I repeat, damn nargles. And I'll have you know, I looked good in those boxers."

She laughed. "No, Draco, you just looked ridiculous in them. Theo showed me a photo of them and actually, no one would look good in those boxers. I love Luna dearly, but no."

Draco buried his head in his hands and mumbled, "I'm starting to think that killing Theo is looking to be quite a pleasant course of action right now."

Hermione shook her head. "You would not look good in Azkaban stripes, so there will be no killing of your best friend."

"I'm pretty tempted, even if I wouldn't look good in Azkaban stripes."

She scoffed. "No, you're not." A grin returned to her face. "Now, I want to know what happened your first year in university. Theo told me something about some kind of show."

"Merlin's shaggy beard, not the bloody peep show! It was one time and I was dragged to Muggle London with some fellow classmates for what they called a cultural experiment. How was I to know that I was going to end up in a strip club? And why in Salazar's name do they have those little coin thingies to watch rather than using a big screen?"

Hermione laughed. "That's what a peep show is, an erotic show or film that you use a coin-operated machine to watch."

"Erotic? Hermione, the one I saw was way past erotic."

She shrugged. "They can be pornographic too."

It was Draco's turn to snort. "That's definitely one way to describe it."

Hermione raised her hand and placed it on her husband's chest. "How do you feel about another peep show? One without the coin machine and can be found within the comfort of your own home?"

A wicked grin spread across his face. "Now, that sounds like a peep show I just might enjoy."

She stood up. "Then sit back and enjoy."

Draco settled back into his chair. "I intend to."


End file.
